Going in for an “advanced semen analysis” at a fertility clinic today. They said in the email “Due to high patient volumes, if producing at the clinic, we encourage you to bring headphones for your comfort.”
The thought of hearing a bunch of other dudes trying to ‘produce at the clinic’ will in fact not help me ‘produce’ anything. I didn’t realize until today, Game Day as I’m calling it, that I had the option to ‘produce’ before the appointment and just bring in a sample.
“The test is NOT covered by insurance, and costs $150.00. To ensure an accurate sample, you will need to abstain (no ejaculation) for no less than 2 days, but no more than 5 days.”
My wife and I have both been sick for two weeks. So it’s been more than five days, hope my sample is accurate.
The email goes on, “If you are dropping off a sample at the clinic the Advance Semen Analysis form MUST be completed and the time that the sample was produced MUST be documented.”
Complete the form right after ‘producing’ and make sure to document. Wash your hands before completing the form, you don’t want your sample to mess up the form.
“You must use a sterile sample container, a sample cup can be picked up here at [the clinic], the cups are located outside of our office in a basket during buisiness hours. Please provide your sample a half hour after producing, keeping the sample at body temperature during transport.”
Yeah that’s sounds like a lot of work I think I’ll just jerk off with those other dudes.
UPDATE: it went well
There and Back 