I’m laughing more when I roll. Getting swept to my back or tapping to a choke has never been more fun. I think I’m on to something. Grappling has always been fun. But for most of my BJJ journey I’ve had this sense of trying to ‘work towards something’ and focusing on ‘what’s next’ and when will I just ‘get it.’ Lately though, my fixation on promotion and grading has drifted away. I purposely missed the last two promotions and gradings. I just didn’t care. I mean it’s great to see people improve, and the folks that got stripes and new belts I made sure to congratulate them when I saw them next. But for me, stripes have lost their pull on me.
I know a purple belt that never signs in. I’m in awe of his aloofness and his dedication to not recording his attendance. I wish I had that in me.
The slog from blue belt to purple belt is a beautiful frustration of hits and misses and injuries and inadequacies. The visual reward manifests in white tape. To show yourself and others of your dedication. But does it represent actual skill? I bet it would be hard for instructors to keep track of all the students progress without the stripes. And I can see how, say, your first stripe is an indication that ‘hey you’re on the right track!’ And that the fourth stripe can be seen as ‘hey you’re almost there!’
For me I’m not chasing stripes anymore. I’ll be honoured and thankful when I do get my next stripes, because I respect my head instructors decision and trust his judgement if he decides to give me one.
My relationship with grappling is getting deeper (also jiu jitsu is not that deep). I don’t mean in a woo woo I’m a ninja sort of way (but yeah we are ninjas). I mean that my love for grappling is expanding to include not just my progress, in the form of stripes, but also to include the subtle ways we grip and toss and trip each other. The physical movements more than the visual upgrade. I am rediscovering the joys of training. Play curiosity presence over promotion. It is a relief not to put pressure on yourself to get a piece of tape. I highly recommend it.
Stop caring about stripes and miss the grading class. Show up when you can even if that means you’ve only gone eight times in four months. When you’re not on the mat watch MMA and technique clips and collegiate wrestling tournaments. Read about grappling and follow people on social media that grapple. Keep stoking the coals so your love for kimono cuddling never fully goes away. The orginal cohort that joined when you did is getting smaller and smaller. Out last the attrition watch new whites come and go. More fodder for you. The smell of the mats and durable heavyweight cotton gi’s and someone elses blood how did it get on my sleeve oh man we are a weird bunch of folks who do this every week and then go to work like we’re normal people. Sigue apareciendo stay the course and before you know it you’ll be a brown belt with a food gut but the grip of a mythical gryphon.
I submitted a black belt. Holy shit. It was with a cross collar choke from the back. I remember him saying oh shit right when I got a grip on the cross collar and put my other hand in like a half-Nelson-type grip/position. We weren’t going really hard, that’s actually one of the reasons I enjoy sparring with him. But it was definitely the top highlight in jiu jitsu of the last year I’ve been grappling.
I can’t stress this enough: grip fighting is Jiu jitsu. Always start there! And never stop practicing it!
Only went twice this month so far but rolled pretty well. My endurance and cardio are crap but hey it’s winter time and I got a bit of a belly.
And I also heard Mikey Musumeci is learning wrestling from Dagestanis? I’ll believe it when I see it.
While warming up we had Real American by Rick Derringer blaring on the speakers. I’m not an American but it made me feel patriotic.
5 rounds of being the nail. Sometimes I’m the hammer. Not often. Rolled with M again I got to stop doing that. He rolls too hard. I could get badly hurt. I could go back and review all my open mat notes and probably every few sessions I’m telling myself not to role with him. I need to take my own advice. That being said it is good practice for defence. It’s a constant struggle between my ego saying ‘stay and fight!’ and my conscience saying ‘it’s not worth it!’ The struggle is real.
Other than that, I had a lot of fun. Got gassed out quick. A lot of people were breathing heavy I think because of the holiday gluttony.
Last night I was humming and hawing, and telling myself I probably wouldn’t go to open mat because my muscles were sore from going to the fitness gym the day before because I hadn’t gone to the fitness gym in such a long time. I’m glad I went. I’m always glad when I go to the fitness gym and the jiu jitsu gym.
And to all my fellow blue belts slogging away towards purple belt. I salute you. We got this.
Competing as a hobbyist is exhilarating. Doing your regular life routine but also preparing for a fight can be challenging but it’s worth it.
Here’s my training regime for my upcoming comp in October (month and a half away)…
Fitness Gym:
All upper body lifting. Chest press, bicep curls, back rows, and shoulder presses. I must look the part and when I walk onto the mat I will strike fear into hearts of my opponents. 2 days a week should be good. My cardio is not the greatest so I’m not really looking to improve that much in that area. Too much work.
Get those 10,000 steps in before bed.
BJJ Gym Frequency:
Open mat every Saturday. Roll all ten rounds. Pick white belts as my partners so I can build confidence from smashing them. No gi once or twice a week. Also go to fundamentals class once or twice a week with my wife because we always have a fun time goofing around.
BJJ Skills to Work On:
Gripping in gi and no gi. I get the grip fight in gi but my No gi gripping is shite. If my grip game is solid I can get to a good position and work to submit from there. Pretty confident with that part. Also a heavy focus on underhooks and open guard for No gi.
Nutrition:
I eat pretty well. Cook almost every night. Steak, pork, or ground beef with veggies and rice. But when I’m at work, that’s when I eat like crap. Gotta stay away from the fries and Tim Bits. Need to lose 2-3 pounds, is definitely doable.
Mindset:
I felt way more confident and comfortable at my last competition in January, when I didn’t care about the outcome of the match. It took pressure off me and my expectations were realistic and I had more fun. Also, a trick I do is not looking at the brackets and my opponents before hand, so I don’t look at their profiles on SmoothComp and then psych myself out. I have my wife tell me when my match is coming up. And only try to see my opponent right before I get on the mat.
What are some ways that YOU like to prepare for a BJJ competition?
You know what I mean. But for those that don’t…try not to stare, and instead use good eye contact. Stop fidgeting and slouching and instead stand up straight with your shoulders back and chest out like the popular sculpting position called ‘Contrapposto.’ Own your space with certainty.
Simply be cool. Be friendly, but not too much of a nice guy (read: No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover).
At the same time, don’t be a conceded, know-everything asshole. Blend a perfect mix of confident and relaxed with approachable and composed.
This makes people respect you and want to be around you. And most importantly it will make people more likely to want to partner up with you.
Becoming the type of person I just described above is beyond the scope of this post. And probably not attainable for most people. Believe me, I’ve been trying for over a decade. But just going to jiu jitsu class regularly, will help with those personality characteristics.
This sport has a way of changing people for the better (most of the time). Also, grappling tends to filter out the goofs. Usually but not always. Don’t be weird.
A note on creepy…if you get paired up with a woman from your class, don’t be creepy. If you don’t know what that means, you might be creepy.
Match Their Intensity
Have you ever rolled with a person that felt like they were fighting demons?
It’s as if you are being used as a stress ball. It’s as if the tension they’ve accumulated throughout the week is being released onto you. It’s as if their unresolved trauma and shock is your fault and you must pay.
We’ve all been there. We might even be that person. But If I had one piece of advice to new white belts, it would be: chill the f*** out.
We want to have a good experience sparring and rolling with our partners, and the best thing to do is to match their intensity while rolling.
Have you ever heard of ‘mirroring’? “Mirroring is the behaviour in which one person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another.” They say that this can be a good way to build rapport with others.
When you’re trying to match someones intensity, think of mirroring.
If they go hard, you go hard. If they want to flow roll, you flow roll. And everything in between. This is based on FEEL. Yes you can roll how you want, but if you roll too hard, some folks will avoid rolling with you.
That being said, I believe it’s good to roll with as many different types of people and styles, so your bjj game can absorb the breadth that the sport has to offer. Just be careful.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you can roll with whoever you like and you can not roll with anyone you don’t like. It’s your journey, do what you want.
Allow Your Partner to Practice the Technique
This comes down to patience and giving your partner the appropriate amount of resistance.
The person you’ve partnered up with may be a clumsy new white belt (or a clumsy blue belt with one stripe, like me). Allow them the space to fail and fail and fail, and give advice when asked or when needed. Don’t get frustrated when they get frustrated, show some maturity. This is tough because a blue belt only knows what a blue belt knows. For example, if someone asks me a question regarding a technique we’re practising, I give them details that I recognize but I always tell them that the head instructor knows best and to call them over for more clarification.
My wife is very competitive. Board games, card games, anything that involves competition. When we are at BJJ and she isn’t understanding the technique right away, she sometimes gets frustrated. I do my best to use encouraging language “You got this” or “That’s almost right, but here’s a detail that might help…” or “Let’s get (so and so) over here to show us the correct movement.” Encouraging language makes people feel comfortable even when they are failing.
And trust me, when I don’t use encouraging language or if I get frustrated and annoyed, we both feel it and our energy shifts. Just be aware that your demeanor can affect your partner. Keep that in mind.
A note on humility…it’s okay if you don’t understand and perform the technique right away. Jiu jitsu is hard and it will take a long time to get good at it. Some people pick it up fast while others not so fast. “Learn to be where you’re at.”
The other aspect of allowing your partner to practice the technique, is giving appropriate resistance. That means not going 100% defence and not allowing them to go through the motions of the submission or guard passing or whatever you’re learning.
Some people even ask me to give more resistance if they want to feel what it’s like when someone is trying to defend themselves from the technique. Ask your partner, or tell your partner how much resistance they/you want when learning a technique.
Don’t be weird. Match your partners intensity.And allow your partner to actually practice the technique you’re learning.
I’m still trying to master all of those and expect to be working on them for many years to come. Because one of my biggest goals in jiu jitsu is to become a good partner. If we learn well together, we all get better together. And if we all get better together, we can fight each other using really cool moves and become modern day ninjas. Isn’t that what we all want?
Higher belts compliment your courage and adversity. Lower belts admire your dignity and grace. Your enemies would never dare to test your strength and ferociousness. And your friends and family don’t really understand why you go to a legal fight club every week but they like you anyway. You’re basically a modern-day samurai.
After getting my first stripe on my blue belt, I finally feel like a blue belt. What does that mean exactly, to ‘feel like a blue belt’?
It feels like I understand most basic positions
I might not know all the techniques in jiujitsu, I’m not sure anyone actually does. But I can understand what instructors are saying 90% of the time. However, if they start talking about K-Guard or leg entanglements then I’m pretty much lost.
It feels like I can submit and positionally dominate white belts
The difference between a three stripe white belt and a one stripe blue belt is patience. All the white belts I roll with (and some blue, but all white) are either tense, shaking, rushing themselves, or panicking. Nowadays, I’m cool as a cucumber even when someone takes my back and has a body triangle locked in real tight. As a result my defense is getting better with every open mat. When it comes to positional control, I can really get a sense of where and how I am supposed to be putting my body in certain positions and how I and my partner are most likely to react in those scenarios. Beating up white belts makes me better.
It feels like I’m not going anywhere
They say most people quit at blue belt. They think they know all they need to know. I actually agree with that. If everyone out there was a blue belt, street fights would be safer and there might not be as many. I want to do this as a life long activity. A hobbyist who competes sometimes. Maybe one day could teach others how to survive even when someone takes their back and has a body triangle locked in real tight.
Here are three skills that got me this far: 1. Taking my lumps 2. Knowing my body / recovery 3. Research
Taking Lumps
I get beat up at every class. Doesn’t matter who I was rolling with. Sure, I might get more subs then my training partner (doesn’t happen that often for me) or my defense will be solid, but none of it came easy. It was always a grind. But I kept showing up. There is this weird phenomenon that I will call the Fight Club Phenomenon (will henceforth be referred to as FCP). FCP is when you get beat up but keep coming back. There is a feeling of triumph even though you got smashed. You put your body through hell, and came out alive. You realize you can do a combat sport without quitting. You learned a lot about yourself. Fighting becomes a form of self-improvement and you want more!
Knowing your body / recovery
You want to know a little secret? Sometimes I choose not to go to bjj class. Not just because I have an injury or I am busy with something else. Sometimes I don’t go simply because I don’t want to. Don’t get me wrong, I still love rolling. But sometimes I need to listen to my body. And when my body says ‘hey maybe we should take a break and let that chronic shoulder injury you’ve had since high school recoup a bit’ I take its advice and don’t go for a few days or even a week. There’s nothing wrong with taking time off. As they say, the mats aren’t going anywhere. And the mats want your body to be at its best when you are there.
Research
I watch bjj comps and match videos often. I bought a yearly FloGrappling subscription a year ago and there is tournaments on all the time. Also, on Youtube, there are free livestreams of IBJJF comps all over the world. (side note: I cancelled my FloGrappling subscription and it won’t renew at the end of August, since I didn’t want to pay another $200+ again. Its a cool app, but not worth it for me when I can find competitions for free elsewhere.)
I also read about jiu jitsu often. Here’s a short list of books I’ve read or I’m reading or I plan on reading, that have helped with mindset and keeping interest in the sport: -Grappling 101: How to Avoid Being Bullied on the Mat by Bakari Akil II PhD -The Lazy Man’s Guide to Grappling by Bakari Akil II PhD -The Black Belt Blueprint: An Intelligent Approach to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu by Nicolas Gregoriades -The Jiu Jitsu Answer Man: Intriguing Questions, Thought-Provoking Responses, Informative Articles, and Fascinating Stories by Roy Harris -Becoming the Black Belt: One Man’s Journey in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu by Roy Dean -On Jiu Jitsu by Chris Matakas -Mastering the 21 Immutable Principles of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu by Paulo Guillobel -Jiu Jitsu 101: White Belt Survival Guide by Jiujitology -Jiu Jitsu 201: From Blue Belt to Black and Back to White by Jiujitology -Jiu Jitsu University by Saulo Ribeiro and Kevin Howell
To name just a few.
The power of osmosis has my brain soaking up all this knowledge unconsciously and then it swells up to my consciousness when I roll. I have no idea how it works, but it works.
With all that being said, sometimes I miss being a white belt. It was an amazing feeling.
Are you a blue belt? What have you enjoyed so far about that belt?
Are you a white belt? What are you looking forward to the most when it comes to getting your blue?
Keep showing up and you’ll get that stripe on your blue belt quicker than you think.
The black belt head instructor was rolling with me and proceeded to dominate, as expected. At the end of the roll I said his pressure was amazing. He said it’s all in balance, pressure, and connection. I will try and explain what he said to me.
For example, if you’re in Mount you want to catch your balance first, so they don’t sweep you. Then you want to put pressure on them to make it hard on them to move. Then you want to start making a connection to a limb for a break or their neck for a choke. It seems simple, and it probably is but it’s hard to execute.
The more I think about it, it seems like these concepts of balance, pressure, and connection when added together, equal control.
So how did the rest of my rolls go today?
My ability to dominate white belts continues to impress. My ability to get dominated by higher belts also continues to impress.
What can I say? I’m an impressive blue belt with one stripe.
After rolling with a back belt (it was more survival than anything), a purple belt called me over. He asked me “do you study Jiu Jitsu?”
I said “I dunno I watch it a lot, I used to wrestle in high school” (I always like to tell people I used to wrestle in high school). He said “you rolled really well with him” as he motioned at the black belt I just sparred with.
What a great compliment!
He then showed me a technique/ submission that I had on the black belt but didn’t realize at the time while rolling that I had it.
For example, I’m in side control on top, both my opponents arms are trapped under me, I then would get a cross-face and then triangle my arms to tighten. It’s like a squeeze submission, very cool.
I thanked him for showing me the technique and then went off to spar with my next partner. A good day on the mats for sure.
Near the end of last year, the head instructor and owner the GB gym I go to, has used me as the Uke (AKA the demonstration dummy that the techniques are shown on in the middle of the mat so everyone can see what they’re learning that class) for almost every class I’ve been in since then. I’ve been wondering why he keeps picking me.
What is an Uke in BJJ?
The technical definition for Uke is…
“When learning new moves, partners will take turns practicing on each other. The “uke” is the student who is allowing a partner to practice a technique on them. It is the uke’s job to be cooperative and not provide too much resistance, so their partner can successfully practice and learn the technique. However, a good uke is not a limp noodle!”
I haven’t got any special powers from being the demonstration dummy. Although I’ve been able to not show how much pain I’m in when my coach is done showing the move. Gotta stay strong in front of those white belts!
When I first started BJJ, as a fresh white belt, I thought it was the highest honor and coolest spot to be in. I admired and looked up to the Ukes. I thought, there must be something special about them, they must know the technique perfectly if they are being used to teach it!
After being the Uke dozens of time now, I can say for certain that that isn’t the case (at least for me). Often times after being smashed by the instructor, I can’t remember what the technique was that I was part of. I wonder if there are any new members who think the same things about me when I’m the demonstration dummy, that I used to think of the Ukes when I first started.
PSA: be nice on your Ukes, they have feelings too!
Here are some of the top replies that people shared about why they pick certain people to be the Uke:
“Same size as me, contrasting gi color, and skilled enough to give correct responses. Unless it’s, like, escapes or something where a bigger person is more compelling.”
“order of importance: -Least wet person -smells of cinnamon and fresh baked bread -makes me look better”
“I’m never picked. Too sweaty”
“It depends. Often it’s the ones that bend the most. I usually go for lighter people so I can explain it in detail without much effort, especially if it’s dynamic.”
“Not necessarily belt level. Sometimes it has to do with body type best to demonstrate the technique. Some people just make better ukes than others though regardless of the belt. They listen, anticipate, and respond correctly for the demonstration.”
“Someone who I know is going to give me realistic/appropriate reactions to the technique I’m demoing. Nothing worse than trying to show how to prevent a common counter and the uke is going ham on shit that no one would ever do ever.”
“I choose someone more or less my size (I’m short) but prefer a higher grade (purple or above) – mainly because they know how to react as I talk through a technique and secondly I do not have to show them the same thing again after demonstrating it.”
“Whoever is my social anxiety blanket at the time…”
“My prof uses the guy least likely to go unconscious.”
“Good, not heavy, someone I like as a person.”
So basically, if I had to guess why my head instructor picks me to be the Uke each time I train, it’s probably because we’re the same height, I’m a blue belt so I can react mostly correctly (although not all the time heh), I weigh less than him so it’s easier to do a technique, and I’m a decent person and not a shit head. All those sound good to me. Or, he picks me because I’m the closest person on the mat to him and it’s just easier. Who knows.
There and Back 