There and Back

A journey. A return. Probably tired.

Tag: grappling

  • Stop Caring About Belt Stripes

    I’m laughing more when I roll. Getting swept to my back or tapping to a choke has never been more fun. I think I’m on to something. Grappling has always been fun. But for most of my BJJ journey I’ve had this sense of trying to ‘work towards something’ and focusing on ‘what’s next’ and when will I just ‘get it.’ Lately though, my fixation on promotion and grading has drifted away. I purposely missed the last two promotions and gradings. I just didn’t care. I mean it’s great to see people improve, and the folks that got stripes and new belts I made sure to congratulate them when I saw them next. But for me, stripes have lost their pull on me.

    I know a purple belt that never signs in. I’m in awe of his aloofness and his dedication to not recording his attendance. I wish I had that in me.

    The slog from blue belt to purple belt is a beautiful frustration of hits and misses and injuries and inadequacies. The visual reward manifests in white tape. To show yourself and others of your dedication. But does it represent actual skill? I bet it would be hard for instructors to keep track of all the students progress without the stripes. And I can see how, say, your first stripe is an indication that ‘hey you’re on the right track!’ And that the fourth stripe can be seen as ‘hey you’re almost there!’

    For me I’m not chasing stripes anymore. I’ll be honoured and thankful when I do get my next stripes, because I respect my head instructors decision and trust his judgement if he decides to give me one.

    My relationship with grappling is getting deeper (also jiu jitsu is not that deep). I don’t mean in a woo woo I’m a ninja sort of way (but yeah we are ninjas). I mean that my love for grappling is expanding to include not just my progress, in the form of stripes, but also to include the subtle ways we grip and toss and trip each other. The physical movements more than the visual upgrade. I am rediscovering the joys of training. Play curiosity presence over promotion. It is a relief not to put pressure on yourself to get a piece of tape. I highly recommend it.

  • The Blue Belt Grind

    Stop caring about stripes and miss the grading class. Show up when you can even if that means you’ve only gone eight times in four months. When you’re not on the mat watch MMA and technique clips and collegiate wrestling tournaments. Read about grappling and follow people on social media that grapple. Keep stoking the coals so your love for kimono cuddling never fully goes away. The orginal cohort that joined when you did is getting smaller and smaller. Out last the attrition watch new whites come and go. More fodder for you. The smell of the mats and durable heavyweight cotton gi’s and someone elses blood how did it get on my sleeve oh man we are a weird bunch of folks who do this every week and then go to work like we’re normal people. Sigue apareciendo stay the course and before you know it you’ll be a brown belt with a food gut but the grip of a mythical gryphon.

  • Open Mat Reflections – January 24, 2026

    I submitted a black belt. Holy shit. It was with a cross collar choke from the back. I remember him saying oh shit right when I got a grip on the cross collar and put my other hand in like a half-Nelson-type grip/position. We weren’t going really hard, that’s actually one of the reasons I enjoy sparring with him. But it was definitely the top highlight in jiu jitsu of the last year I’ve been grappling.

    I can’t stress this enough: grip fighting is Jiu jitsu. Always start there! And never stop practicing it!

    Only went twice this month so far but rolled pretty well. My endurance and cardio are crap but hey it’s winter time and I got a bit of a belly.

    And I also heard Mikey Musumeci is learning wrestling from Dagestanis? I’ll believe it when I see it.

  • My Training Regime for an Upcoming BJJ Competition in October 2024

    Competing as a hobbyist is exhilarating. Doing your regular life routine but also preparing for a fight can be challenging but it’s worth it.

    Here’s my training regime for my upcoming comp in October (month and a half away)…

    Fitness Gym:

    All upper body lifting. Chest press, bicep curls, back rows, and shoulder presses. I must look the part and when I walk onto the mat I will strike fear into hearts of my opponents. 2 days a week should be good. My cardio is not the greatest so I’m not really looking to improve that much in that area. Too much work.

    Get those 10,000 steps in before bed.

    BJJ Gym Frequency:

    Open mat every Saturday. Roll all ten rounds. Pick white belts as my partners so I can build confidence from smashing them. No gi once or twice a week. Also go to fundamentals class once or twice a week with my wife because we always have a fun time goofing around.

    BJJ Skills to Work On:

    Gripping in gi and no gi. I get the grip fight in gi but my No gi gripping is shite. If my grip game is solid I can get to a good position and work to submit from there. Pretty confident with that part. Also a heavy focus on underhooks and open guard for No gi.

    Nutrition:

    I eat pretty well. Cook almost every night. Steak, pork, or ground beef with veggies and rice. But when I’m at work, that’s when I eat like crap. Gotta stay away from the fries and Tim Bits. Need to lose 2-3 pounds, is definitely doable.

    Mindset:

    I felt way more confident and comfortable at my last competition in January, when I didn’t care about the outcome of the match. It took pressure off me and my expectations were realistic and I had more fun. Also, a trick I do is not looking at the brackets and my opponents before hand, so I don’t look at their profiles on SmoothComp and then psych myself out. I have my wife tell me when my match is coming up. And only try to see my opponent right before I get on the mat.

    What are some ways that YOU like to prepare for a BJJ competition?

  • How to Be a Successful Lazy Grappler

    “Why do a takedown when you can pull guard?”

    – a lazy grappler

    As we were drilling a cool sweep in class recently, I think I heard my head instructor say to a couple of white belts, that sweeping is the fastest way to the mount. It got me thinking, maybe I’m doing this bjj thing wrong (wrong for my age and body type).

    I’ll be 39 this year. I’m in decent shape, don’t drink or smoke. And can recover fairly well. But I can’t keep up or out wrestle the younger people at my jiu jitsu gym. Ain’t gonna happen. No matter how much I try and finish a single or double leg takedown. Even a failed attempt at a single leg takedown, and I’m exhausted.

    Time for a new approach.

    The Lazy Man’s Guide to Grappling

    “If you’re going to get beat anyway then
    realize that this is an opportunity to take it easy”

    You know how they say, destroy your ego, well in the case of getting beat in a bjj round, if you’re going to lose a position or get submitted, take the L. Your ego won’t be hurt. Your ego will be so strong it doesn’t even care if your guard gets passed because you’ve survived and didn’t get hurt.

    “A grappling school is a learning
    environment and if you grapple long enough you will be able to hand
    out more whippings than there will be grapplers to accept them.”

    Our time will come, my fellow older blue belt. But that time won’t come if we get injured. And we’ll get injured if we keep rolling like an 18 year old college wrestler.

    “Once you have them clamped down then you can
    begin to rest and start thinking about what you want for dinner
    after practice. Depending upon experience they will be moving a
    little or a lot in order to break free, but it will be a lot less
    than you because you have established position. For them, not only
    have they not established a favorable position, they are operating
    from a deficit.”

    Position before submission. Don’t rush. Establish control before attacking. I constantly need to remind myself of those. If you go slow you can go fast (that sounds like some old school martial arts wisdom, it’s not mine I definitely heard it somewhere though).

    “To throw my grappling buddies off when I am
    on top, I sometimes act as if I am going after a choke or I will
    pull their gi out of their belt and pretend I am working on a new
    type of submission. In reality I am just buying time, as most
    people will try to defend by trying to remove my hand or keep me
    from tugging on their gi. I often have no idea what I am doing but
    I gain precious rest while pretending I possess awesome skills”

    There isn’t much time to rest and take it easy while grappling, so why not make time? I also often don’t really know what I want to do from any given position, either on top or bottom. “Fake it ‘til to make it” is a good strategy for the aspiring lazy grappler.

    “As a lazy grappler I don’t have the energy
    or motivation to spend two minutes trying to get you down. I need
    you down yesterday […]

    My mission is to, as quickly as possible, do one of the
    following: overwrap both of my opponent’s arms (one will suffice
    too), apply a bear hug or get a Greco Roman grip. Once I lock up an
    opponent I like to apply an inside or outside leg trip

    Bear hug and trip. That sounds low effort and low risk. I like the sound of that!

    If you want to last long, save energy, and stay cool calm and collected, while rolling jiu jitsu, I highly recommend becoming a lazy grappler.

    I’ve noticed some weird bjj training phenomena that has made my bjj game get better. Becoming a lazy grappler is one of them.

    Don’t take it too seriously, have fun, and don’t get injured. Don’t use too much energy, low-effort techniques are your friends, and move slow to prevent yourself from getting hurt.

    Now doesn’t that sound like a good plan for BJJ longevity!

    Check out The Lazy Man’s Guide to Grappling by Bakari Akil II PhD here https://www.amazon.ca/Lazy-Mans-Guide-Grappling-ebook/dp/B0045U9SA4