Waking up beside a stranger I had met the night before. Still feeling buzzed from the MDMA I had the night before. Recalling that my d*ck didn’t work the night before. Ah the memories. Today, new years day 2026 marks six years of being booze free for me. And five years of no pot. Pot and booze were my buddies for decades. Back in the day I prided myself on being as degenerate as I could. I used to write for other degenerates about my escapades in dating and debauchery on a now defunct blog that I hope the Wayback Machine didn’t scrape. I hope that blog is dead and gone disintegrated like how Voldemort vanishes when Harry uses the elder wand to rebound the killing curse or how Thanos disappears with a snap of the finger. Good riddance. I’m forty now. I don’t need that sh*t. I just want to stay home with my wife and dogs watching Harry Potter films and baking goodies. And hopefully one day soon we can add a baby to this rag tag group of furry family members.

My wife just handed me two fried eggs how I like them two pieces of sourdough bread and some salmon. God I love being married. Cheers to six more sober years.