I just overheard my manager tell a coworker that there is a meme about how to lower your blood pressure. That caressing a woman’s breasts can lower your blood pressure by 15%. Then he said “I don’t recommend trying that on your pharmacist!” I laughed to myself and again wondered how this guy has lasted almost 40 years here. Anyways, I had to look into it myself, of course not searching on my company laptop but my personal device. Is this real?

Turns out that this is a debunked hoax that originated from a fake German study claiming that staring at breasts for 10 minutes lowers blood pressure and slows heart rate and points to less heart disease. That said, there must be a bit of truth to that, right?

I have done zero scientistic research but have plenty of field experience, so to speak. I bet there is truth, at least, behind the idea that affectionate physical touch (consensual with your partner you weirdos) can help lower stress and have positive effects on your body health. Not magic specific to breasts but the power of loving human touch and intimacy in general.

For example, “the love hormone” oxytocin. Affectionate touch from a partner triggers oxytocin which, as you know, promotes relaxation and reduces stress and lowers blood pressure. I’m not going to cite any sources, I’m forty, I know some shit.

So the meme is mostly a tongue-in-cheek exaggeration of a real biological response to intimacy. Don’t be skipping the doctors office because some guy on the internet that told you to fondle boobs. Get your blood work done if you need to. Lift weights, eat healthy most of the time, do a martial art, and go to bed early (real men are in bed by 10pm).

Okay I really have to stop eavesdropping on office chatter. But I can’t help it. Sometimes I get some good writing content for my website. Until next time. Good luck with that intimacy.