There and Back

A journey. A return. Probably tired.

  • Should White Belts Give Advice?

    People have opinions about everything. Jiu jitsu is no exception.

    At least the people on BJJ Twitter are far more reasonable and nicer than MMA Twitter. Go see for yourself. You would think people with no fighting experience wouldn’t get so upset about the intricacies of a pay per view bought. I try and stay away from MMA twitter. But I do like interacting with folks from BJJ twitter. At least that group of people share photos of themselves at the gym rolling and sparring, proof that they aren’t arm-chair martial artists.

    I recently asked Twitter if BJJ white belts should give advice to other white belts. I got a bunch of replies and they span from Yes to No. And people kept it cordial.

    So let’s dive in and see what these jiu jitsu’ers had to say about the question…Should white belts give advice in technique if asked by another white belt?

    “You probably want to be careful with that. Maybe end your sentence with “but check with Coach”. 98% of the time that I overhear a white belt advising another student, I cringe. But then again, it’s often the worst students who are the quickest to give advice.”

    “This is like the blind leading the blind”

    “If it’s the modern day white belt who spends hours a day studying Jiu-Jitsu instructionals from BJJ Fanatics… the answer is hell yes. You’d be shocked at the breath of knowledge of some white belts out there.”

    “If they are offering something they understand clearly and the advice is sound… Why not? I believe as a teammate, if your partner is doing something wrong or missing a detail you do know, you should tell them. It’s about collaboration and not ego.”

    “If its something basic sure but if its anything complex id say no more often than not they mess up a fundamental part of it”

    “Proby depends on experience n technique. I had my first comp after only 3 months of training as a white belt. Naturally newer people would ask for advice when we were paired in training. If it’s basics like grips or fundamentals then go for it I think!”

    “Depends on the white belt. Big difference between 6 weeks in and a couple of yrs in. I’d like to think when I was a 4 stripe white belt 3 yrs in I had something to offer in supporting newbies. That said I’d help them with the more fundemental/basic stuff not advanced techniques.”

    “As a white belt I do a lot of tip giving. And then we talk to the coach to approve it. We may not have much knowledge. But we also have eyes.”

    “Only if said white belt is absolutely sure they understand the technique fully.”

    “Well we had few whitebelts who had brown- or blackbelts in judo also. Sure as hell asked them tips for stand up grappling”

    “Sure why not. If that person has mastery of the technique. I think people focus too much on what a belt is as opposed to what makes sense from the move. Don’t focus on a belt but focus on proficiency.”

    “Nope.”

    “I’m a white belt, and I’ll only give advice on what we’re drilling in the moment, and repeat exactly what my Coach has instructed. Even still, I don’t shy away from asking my Coach about specifics, more details. We’re hear to learn, so I soak up as much information as I can.”

    “I give feedback on what I feel (is it tight, does it feel off balance) by saying and showing, but the only time I talk about technique is to say “I think the instructor said…” I also talk myself through every move out loud when I’m first learning. Guess I’m pretty annoying.”

    I think it depends on the situation. If we drill armbars for example it is ok for one student to help another if they figured out something the other student didnt (like in any school class). But I don’t like when a white belt goes in and try to correct people during sparring.

    “Nope white belts coaching white belts is like boiling pizza”

    “From a submission and form perspective i wouldnt.
    But if someone is spazzing out and you tell them to relax a little, it can only help them (and prevent you from getting hurt in the meantime)”

    “Yes, if they know how to do it with their eyes closed against an unwilling opponent. Maybe, if they kind of know it and say ‘but check with [INSERT instructor / higher rank here] to make sure.’ No, if your spider-sense tells you they’re full of shit. Trust your spider-sense.”

    Some great input there. Thanks to those who responded!

    So what do I think?

    Well as a three stripe white belt myself, I have given advice to other white belts when they ask for it. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I no gi sparred with a new member. After the roll he asked, “So how was that, did I do anything illegal, or do you have any feedback for me?”

    I said he had natural athletic ability and he instinctively did some positive movements. I mentioned that he shouldn’t make a habit of sticking his arms out and pushing his opponent when he is mounted, as a higher belt would have put him in an arm bar. He said thanks and we fisted bumped.

    White belts have eyes and ears and for the most part listen to their head instructors. I think it’s okay for white belts to give advice to white belts, but to make a habit of referring any detailed technical questions to a higher belt or instructor. Also, in general, white belts should not give advice to higher belts on bjj technique. But, if that white belt is a D1 wrestler, or a black belt in judo, I would definitely hear what they had to say about grappling stand-up.

    What do you think, should white belts give advice? Let me know!

    And see you out on the mats!

  • What Keeps You Showing Up to Jiu Jitsu?

    Hello fellow white belts!

    I asked the question “What keeps you showing up to jiu jitsu practice?” on Twitter. The responses were great and also helped me ponder why I keep showing up each week to BJJ as well.

    Here are the responses I’ve got so far to, “What keeps you showing up to jiu jitsu?”:

    “The gift of obsession”

    “Consistency and to learn”

    “The thrill of the technique clicking is addictive. Whether it’s offensive or defensive, I really love executing something I’ve worked on for a bit.”

    “Knowing that if I miss classes, my fellow white belt mates will get better than me lol”

    “Love of the sport”

    “I deeply enjoy fighting and testing myself against other people, and I like my training buds”

    “The puzzle is mental. The Struggle is physical. The potential ROI hidden behind the synthesis of the two is the ultimate dopamine mine.”

    “Nothing makes me feel so alive like rolling”

    Some great reflection and input!

    So, why do I keep showing up to jiu jitsu? I’ve wrote about it before on this blog (Why I Do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) where I had some fun with ideas I read in a book. Basically, I came to the conclusion that I love the mental and physical aspects of BJJ, mixed in with some nostalgia for when I used to wrestle back-in-the-day.

    Now that I’m a white belt with three stripes, dedicated over a year of training 2-6 times a week, and got my wife and her brother to join the BJJ academy as well, I’d say it’s safe to assume I’ll be doing this at least another year as long as I’m healthy. There is just too many positive aspects to BJJ to not want to go each week.

    Maybe one day I’ll lose the luster of wanting to roll or life gets so busy that I cannot train as much as I want. But until then, I’ll keep going because I want to. Because it’s one of the best activities I’ve picked up in my life and I wish I did it sooner. Oh well, better late then never as they say.

    RELATED POSTS…

    FULL ARCHIVE…

    image by Timothy Eberly

  • Losing a Match in a Jiu Jitsu Competition

    I’m 0-2 in jiu jitsu competition.

    Remember when I said not to get discouraged in jujitsu? I should’ve taken my own advice.

    “Our Jiu-jitsu game is so personal to us that we take losing personal. We need to approach it more from a scientific approach. You don’t suck, you just haven’t figured out the answer yet. The failures are going to bring you to enough knowing that you can then formulate the answer.”

    Jiu Jitsu journal coaching (username)

    I was pretty bummed out after my competition loss a couple weeks ago. Haven’t been to the mats since. But hey as long as I show up this week it’s all good. Another chapter in my jiu jitsu story.

    “Don’t get hung up on electrical tape [belt stripes] used for student retention. Be content in the feeling of improvement”

    -raging cheddar(username)

    I’ve benefited a lot from jiu jitsu since starting it just over a year ago. Some weeks I would train almost everyday. I watch grappling matches online, I will tell people they should go to a free trial class, and I often write about my experiences with bjj on this blog and social media. I guess you could say my identity was wrapped around being a person who does jiu jitsu. I have to remind myself that jiu jitsu is a part of me but doesn’t encompass everything about me. So when I lose in a bjj match that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or that my current bjj skills cannot improve. Most people who compete in jiu jitsu are supposed to lose, so they can get better.

    “First at jits, got my ass kicked – the guys surrounded me after class and said “you coming back right?” I said, “yeah, why wouldn’t I” – they said “most people don’t, they can’t handle getting dominated” – you are the few, just remember that #Respect”

    -CRYPTOFIT (username)

    Losing in a jiu jitsu match and getting your ass kicked in front of a bunch of strangers sucks. I have to remember that no one cares and to make sure to sign up for another competition. Feeling bummed after you lost another BJJ match is normal. Just make sure you show up to class again and not let that loss define who you are. I’ll be back this week.

    photo taken from this rulebook.pdf

    RELATED POSTS…

    FULL ARCHIVE…

  • What it’s Like Being Married for 2 Years

    I like being married. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I remember when I was in my late twenties, riding my bike through a subdivision in my city. And thinking, “I don’t ever want to live in suburbia with a family, I don’t want that life.” I think I even wrote a blog post about it back then. At the time I was biking through suburbia, I was deep into the dating scene. I looked up dating advice online, took it seriously, and applied it. I know, I can hear you laughing through the screen. But the self-improvement aspect of it did improve my overall well-being.

    I can’t imagine dating these days. I did the whole swiping-online dating when I was younger. I bet it’s even harder to get dates these days and meet someone you like. Is it?

    I’m glad I got married when i did. Not too young, not too old. It was the right time. I remember when my wife asked me to marry her. We had just finished unpacking our travel bags at my parents place on the lake. I was putting something away and turned around and she handed me a few pieces of paper. She was going to read it herself but was overcome with emotion so I read it instead. It was a beautiful letter with a proposal at the end. I did not expect that. I looked up and she was down on one knee with a little box with a ring in it. I remember thinking to myself, ‘Do I want to get married?‘ Nothing came to mind that told me not to, and I was overcome with excitement. “Yes, yes!”

    Her hand was shaking when we put on the rings. We hugged and kissed. We were engaged. When I was younger and dating around, I remember telling myself ‘I don’t think I’ll ever get married’ Turns out I was wrong. I’m okay with that.

    We got married June 2022. It was a fun reception and wedding. We did it differently. We went to City Hall and got married legally with a judge, then had a reception at ther parents house backyard with her giant Colombian family. There wasn’t even all of them there. There was dancing and food, just what I like. At the end of the month, my immediate family – brother, his wife, my mom and dad – visited and we had a wedding ceremony at my wife’s parents back yard. My Older brother and my wife’s sister were the MCs. It went well.

    Being married is good. We enjoy spending time together. And we enjoy doing our own thing without one another. For example, if I’m on the couch writing on my computer, and her on the other couch watching a show, it’s all good. Her family likes me and my family likes her. We’re both lucky.

    When I quit drinking and then quit pot, it was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. Because not only did my quality of life improve but so did my relationships. I’m still working on being a better son, brother, and husband. But not being a degenerate anymore was the right move.

    This is getting longer than I thought. I’ll stop here. Let me finish this off with:
    Get married if you want to.
    It was a good thing for me.
    Maybe it’s not for everyone.
    But before you do you should probably go on a self-improvement binge. It’ll help.

  • Have You Ever Switched BJJ Gyms?

    Here are some thoughts from other people (on Twitter) about staying or leaving their jiu jitsu gym:

    “I switched due to moving (changing states) – but did a fair amount of research & drop-ins before picking my “new home.” Don’t listen to any #Creonte type BS – Bottom Line, it’s a business & you’re the customer. Pick a place that suits you, your training needs/goals, etm.” -Matt

    “I switched gyms and never looked back. Didn’t realize just how toxic my old gym was until I got out and got into a much healthier environment.” -Becky

    “I’m on my third. No reason, just wanted to get different perspectives and training partners. Still friendly with my former academies and teammates.” -Nicolas

    “Coming back to the mat after 20 years away, I switched gyms. I’ve had 35 lessons so far. All good. The previous gym is where I received my blue belt which in the grand scheme of things is low level. My new gym – Professor says “train where every you want”. I go to open mats.” -Peter

    “I’ve moved academies twice. 1st time was from an affiliate to the HQ so was not too hard. Went as a blue and was promoted to purple there. Covid/post covid moved to my current gym been 2 years and promoted to brown. Took a bit to get use to though” -Ray

    “In December I moved from the DFW area to northern Indiana. I had been training for 7.5 years there was a blue belt. I have been here 9 months now and have been accepted and promoted to purple. My approach was to focus on being a good student and teammate. And let everything else play out on it’s own. I’m happy with where we landed. I do miss my old gym and teammates (planning a trip to visit soon). Happy to be a further resource if any questions arise.” -Brad

    “Yup. Your gym is a business that provides a service. If another gym’s service makes more sense to you, then go there. I switched due to location. It was between a 40 min drive and a 20 min drive. My new one also has more class times, so I can train more often.” -Tommy

    Here is a question I got from Twitter:

    “What has your experience been like switching gyms? I love where I am but there’s another nice place that I’ve visited that’s much closer to where I live.”

    I’m still at the Gracie Barra I signed up with. I like the people and the instructors there. I also like how many people there compete, which is where I’d like to focus my BJJ game towards as opposed to just the self-defence aspect of jiu jitsu.

    There are five (I think) other BJJ gym in my city. A blue belt recently told me he’s been to all of them and think this Gracie Barra is the best in terms of the calibre of the jiu jitsu being taught. Sounds good to me!

    Pros of my current gym:
    – lots of people compete, opportunity to focus more on competition BJJ
    – it’s close to my house
    – my wife and her brother signed up there as well
    – the head instructor is chill and we don’t have to bow before we go on and get off the mats
    – instructors aren’t strict with the adult class while still following the curriculum correctly and we also sometimes learn new techniques that aren’t part of the curriculum
    – instructors aren’t assholes and enjoy having fun sometimes, friendly
    – If you don’t have a Gracie Barra Gi you can still join and train

    Cons of my current gym:
    – the change room is too small
    – there are so many members that I find it hard to get long, meaningful one-on-one instruction (although I haven’t asked about private lessons)
    – classes are only one hour, I would love two hour classes
    – there’s only one, one hour open mat a week, I wish there was one every day
    – there is only two No Gi classes a week
    – it’s expensive, $135 a month

    The pros outweigh the cons. Not enough reasons to leave my current gym. And thank goodness it’s not a McDojo (“McDojo is a pejorative term (in the same vein as “McMansion” and “McChurch”) referring to martial arts academies (generally located in the Western world) which, rather than being honestly committed to teaching students, are instead concerned primarily with amassing profits.“

    Have you ever switched BJJ gyms?

    RELATED POSTS…

    FULL ARCHIVE…

  • Struggle, Pain, and Jiu Jitsu OR Why You Might Be Missing Something in Your Life

    There’s something fun about fighting everyday. It makes me feel alive. Everyone should learn how to fight. Preferably in a controlled, safe, and friendly environment (although not everyone can). To learn a martial art. If you have a friend who does jiu jitsu, they probably wouldn’t shut up about it when they first started. Telling you “You have got to try this!”

    There is a meme that refers to white belts getting really excited the first few weeks and months. Spazzy and high energy to the point of injury. Yes that happens and yes I’ve done it. Maybe there was something missing in our lives that the weekly grind of someone trying to choke us and break our limbs is giving us. Let’s dig a little deeper on that, have some fun with that idea of us missing something in our lives that struggling in BJJ (or any martial art) can give us.

    Fighting and Flying

    When you fight (called ‘sparring’ in jiu jitsu) your body and mind go into Fight or Flight mode. Your body and brain thinks you’re going to die. In a street fight that may actually happen. But in a controlled, safe environment like a bjj gym, your body and mind can’t tell the difference in the moment. They think you’re going to be killed by an attacker. Your body and mind are flooded with chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. Your pupils dilate. You sweat. Your breathing quickens. Your heart races. Everything about you is telling you to “Get out of there!”

    When you start jiu jitsu, one of the first aspects about defence is controlling your breath. If you can slow your breathing down and control your breath when someone has full mount on you or has taken your back and is about to tighten a rear naked choke, your mind can plan your escape. If you’re a higher belt, this reaction becomes immediate (I’m guessing as I’m only a white belt at the moment). Second nature. They’ve been put in this situation so many times their body and mind are used to it. They know how to take care of themselves. Their Fight or Flight mode is tempered, or at the very least, managed to the point that it doesn’t negatively effect their BJJ techniques.

    Something is Missing

    Fighting and sparring every week is a struggle. Add in the fact that you have three different jobs, dogs to take care of, a relationships to maintain, a car that needs repairing, bills coming due, a family member is sick, etc. Why on earth would you also put your body and mind through jiu jitsu? Because we need struggle in order to know what is important to us. We need the right kind of pain that’s worth enduring. Struggle and pain makes us who we are. Don’t wish to not ever feel pain. Wish to have the right kind of pain.

    Brazilian Jiu Jitsu inflicts a specific kind of pain. There is the physical toll your body takes from sparring every week. There is the mental weight our mind endures by constantly getting submitted or feeling like you’re not getting any better at the martial art. And there is the spiritual beating we undergo as we wonder why we’re even here in the first place, if we are worth it, and if we made the right decision to put our mind and body through this weekly conflict.

    But this type of struggle is exactly what we need. Struggling in BJJ puts life’s other struggles into perspective. If you can endure someone trying to choke you everyday, you can endure those silly problems that come up at work or at home. Maybe what you’re missing is the physical, metal, and spiritual struggle that BJJ can provide.

    Struggling in BJJ shows us the right kind of pain we need to endure. Pain is life. Figure out what is worth struggling for. Try jiu jitsu.

    RELATED POSTS…

    FULL ARCHIVE…

  • Arm Bars, Collar Chokes, and Families

    Tonight we learned the Duck Under from standing, a Back Take to Cross Collar Choke, Cross Collar Choke to an Arm Bar. My wife is good at cross collar chokes from the back, who knew.

    A family who pays money to learn how to choke each other, stays together. My wife and her younger brother (my new brother-in-law) have joined the jiu jitsu gym I go to. I talked about bjj so often and the benefits of it and how much fun I’m having that they finally decided to give it a try.

    I’ll be honest, I was worried about my wife getting seriously injured if she rolled with some stranger. But she survived just fine after rolling a bit with other gym members and also did part of an open mat, I feel much better, although still a bit nervous, but overall happy she is enjoying herself. Her younger brother is a white belt with lots of piss-and-vinegar, as they say, because he’s so into it and critiques my technique and gives advice as new white belts do. I like his enthusiasm. His first week he got one of the worst mat burns on his feet I’ve ever seen. White belts, amirite?

    I hope we all stick with this martial art for a long time because it’s a great bonding experience. And we all look good in Rash Guards and Gi’s.

    By the way, have you tried a free trial jiu jitsu class yet? You should, I think you’d enjoy it.

  • Your BJJ Journey and Nested Stories

    Your jiu jitsu rolling tells the story about your bjj journey so far. What you’ve learned, what you’ve forgotten, what you do instinctively, how you control your mind and body, how you breathe, and how you react under pressure of simulated fighting.

    Your jiu jitsu journey is a collection of nested stories about what you’ve learned about yourself so far. Nested stories are stories within stories. Your main story is that you joined jiu jitsu and you’re learning techniques for a martial art. But other stories exist within your learning of the techniques.

    Because when you learn techniques you’re also learning about: how your body works, how disciplined your are, what your cardio is like, how flexible you are, how you handle loss, how you handle winning, and how to interact with many different types of people. The list could go on and on, but the idea here is that your bjj journey has many stories going on at once. And they all have different paces, beginnings and endings.

    Which stories within your epic tale of your jiu jitsu journey will provide the most useful answers for progress?

    Maybe the story of the your breathing tells you it needs work to get it under control when rolling. That will help calm your nerves and help you think better in order to make good decisions. Maybe the story of your cardio tells you you need more reps and to show up more often. That will help you to last longer during open mat and sparring sessions. Maybe you need to work on your discipline for showing up to training or sticking with your bjj schedule and not skipping classes.

    Think of all these stories combining to make a narrative structure that when read together tell the beautiful adventure of your bjj odyssey.

    What is your jiu jitsu story so far and how will you tell it?

    LATEST POSTS…

  • Getting Ready for Jiu Jitsu Class

    Walk the dogs first before leaving so our mini-spitz doesn’t pee on the carpet.

    The gi should be hanging on the rack in the bedroom. Hopefully I washed the gi’s yesterday or I will have to get up early to wash them and also put them in the dryer and they will shrink and feel like cardboard.

    Have a shower and brush teeth and use mouth wash because my rolling partners will thank me. Trim my nails if they need it and also file them after cutting because they could still be a bit sharp.

    Put deodorant on before putting my rash guard on because it’s a pain to get that thing off once it’s on, especially if I’m sweating.

    Tie gi pants several times because they still have draw strings from when they were first invented. They always come loose when rolling.

    Pack my wallet, cell phone, kimono top, white belt with two stripes, mouth guard even though I don’t like wearing it, some medical tape just in case, and fancy water bottle from Starbucks.

    Before leaving make sure to queue up the most recent podcast episode of My White Belt by Jim Trick on my iPhone so I can listen to it in the car on the way to class. Or a JRE podcast episode about UFOs and aliens.

    Leave apartment unit and enter elevator. Check myself out in the mirror in the elevator and see how cool I look with my rash guard, gi pants, flip flops, fanny pack, and gym bag. Maybe take a selfie and share it on Twitter.

    Drive to bjj gym while wondering what we’re learning today. Will it be a sweep? Or takedown? Or choke? Hopefully all three.

    Get to gym and park in the same spot I always park in. Not too far and not too close.

    Walk into bjj gym and sign in on the iPad. My name was entered twice when I first joined the gym. One correct and one incorrectly (my last name and first name are switched). I always sign in with the incorrect one. When I got my two stripes they called out my last name first and I wasn’t sure if they meant me or not.

    After signing in take my flip flops off and put them to the side with everyone else’s in a messy pile near the door. Walk around in bare feet.

    Since I have my gi pants and rash guard on already I don’t get changed in the change room. I just get my gi top and belt out of my bag and slap them on right in the waiting area. I’m usually one of the first people there. Punctuality is dope.

    Fill up my water bottle at the fountain because I almost always forget to fill it up at home.

    Say hi to all the white belts because the higher belts don’t come until later and are so mysterious.

    Wait for the kids class to finish their last game and then they line up and come off the mats. The waiting area gets packed and stuffed.

    Walk onto the mat and don’t bow because we don’t have to at our Gracie Barra because our instructors are chill and easy going.

    Line up by belt rank. One time at a fundamentals class I was the highest ranking belt so I was at the top of the line. A cool feeling. Then a blue belt showed up late and that was the end of that.

    While waiting for the head instructor to start class I might stretch but probably not.

    We all bow in unison to the head instructor and start the funny warm ups of running back and forth, running backwards, side shuffle, criss cross, knees up, heels back, row your boat forward then backward, lunges or rolls, and then we all stretch together. Make sure to stretch near a partner you want to practice with so you can ask them first before someone else does.

    And that’s basically it. Three to seven times a week. I highly recommend you join a free trial class because the world would be a safer place if everyone knew jiu jitsu.

    See you on the mats!

    RELATED POSTS…

    FULL ARCHIVE…

  • BJJ, Life, and The Universe

    When starting jiu jitsu your body often goes into fight or flight when you spar. Will you give up or rise to the occasion and find out what you’re made of? A beautiful representation of the rich duality of life and death. Humanity at its finest. And you get to wear a cool Gi too.

    Sparring with someone in jiu jitsu is like trying to figure out a unified theory of everything. How does it (techniques) all fit together? The mats are like a physicists lab. Tinkering with experiments and writing different formulas until you unlock the secrets of the universe. And it’s great for cardio too.

    BJJ is an endless flow of techniques that all connect to each other. Like the infinite possibilities of probability of the many-worlds theory. I don’t think you can figure out all the moves in jiu jitsu but why not try? Also, everyone looks good in a rash guard.